fiction is lying.

Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.

But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.

Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.

I hereby submit my youtube comments in reverse chronological order for your perusal. Someone once called it “so funny”.

You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.

Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).

Ok, I know the name is weird and stupid, but this is a grassroots political support campaign on crystal meth. A site that strictly entertains videos of the Obama supporting persuasion, with no other rules. A truly democratic (hackable!) voting structure pushes popular shit to the top. The introduction:

It may seem obvious that years of experience in national politics would be the best preparation for the White House, but it’s not the case.

Look at two presidents who had the most political experience when they took office: Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. They had great experience, but they weren’t the greatest presidents. On the other hand, look at two presidents who had the least amount of experience: Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Now, decide if you want to vote just for experience or for the better candidate.

Weird defense to the experience thing, but an interesting statement of support. The consists of videos of all walks of Obama-supporting life. It combines YouTube with a sort of digg-like voting structure to support the candidate said to be most tech-savvy (he’s not scared of technology?! what!?).

Here’s hoping internet people understand that it’s up to them to get outside and make the magic spread from internet to their jobs and schools and prisons and churches and bars and all that. Talk about this shit in public; it is a public affair.

“He misconstrued my beliefs.” - Ron Paul re: John McCain attacking him at the Republican YouTube debate.

I am amazed at his stickiness. He seems to attract the undercurrent need of prototypical-American freedom in people. He brings up fundamental American issues that effect everyone (and always have), has interesting and different things to say about the junk topics being portrayed as the platform, and can even handle serious modern issues. His statements are all theoretically solid. He interests people that aren’t interested in politics. The dude sounds like Thomas Jefferson.

I’m wondering what kind of insane explosion an internet movement can cause in a real live grassroots campaign.

It’s worth noting I still don’t consider anyone ready to receive votes. I could be convinced though.

Addendum: hahah caught this related thing right after I made this.

(previous ron paul note)

I imagine most people favorite the crap out of youtube. I don’t. I am oddly picky with what I mark as a favorite, so it took me a good year and a half to get to a hundred.

My 100th favorited video is a seasonally appropriate thing I have seen about 97,000 times because it’s on at work. It’s a damned JCPenney commercial, but holy hell is it well done.

I started working on the editing of these response videos I made in reference to the YouTube/CNN Republican debates (as previously discussed here) at 6 PM. It is now 3:45 AM. I have uploaded the entirety of the 160-something megs two and a half times now, and I think I’ve finally gotten the goddamn thing to stick (all after a good three-plus hours cutting out myself making fart jokes).

This is essentially a compilation of my thoughts and reactions to the various things asked and said during these debates. Part 1 is here, and part 2 is here.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in film/video and digital media technology. What the hell people? There is no way I should be having this much trouble making this thing; i.e. everyone that regularly makes high-quality videos with the overshoot-and-edit-and-upload model deserves a significantly high five. I don’t really see myself being able to cope with Premiere for that long.

So if you’ve ever wanted to see me actually saying out loud the ridiculous, self-contradicting, political counter-terror-hobbyist rantings I’ve made elsewhere on the internet, here’s your big chance. And hey, I can spew my poisonous propaganda all over the place at the same time.

Winners: Ron Paul, John McCain, Mike Huckabee.

You should watch the republican newbtube debates as soon as you can to get informed on how ludicrously out of touch with reality most of these guys are, because tomorrow I will hopefully have edited and uploaded my video response to it.

These aren’t debates. They’re sideshows posing as clown colleges. These guys make Dukakis look good; Americans almost can’t lose. Fuck Romney though:

I mean seriously! Romney is an asshole! And that General probably wasn’t reading a script! (killer last word on that one)

p.s. How the fuck is this an issue? Bill Hicks settled this argument in 1992 after your gay uncle settled it in the 60s.

Supplemental: To go along with yesterday’s crying about how good adult swim was this week, I wanted to mention another two videos that are retarded for different reasons and involve prototypical, non-Japanese, foreign superhero images.

I have explained these in a video here, while mostly saying “retarded” instead of “absurdist” to piss off the establishment.

First, the newer of the two, Return to Supermans (from channel101):

And what is described as a trailer from the 60s, Italian Spiderman:

Now I know these things are old news, but I just can’t shake the feeling that they’re too related. After further review they’re not nearly as similar as I thought, but just retarded. Hilarious, but retarded.

Also, painful, vcr-edited, clip-sound low-fi is hot shit right now.

This here thing is a thing about this thing, which is a thing about this thing, which is a thing about this series of things about things that seem crazily real but aren’t.

YES, THIS IS WHAT IS HYPER ABOUT LINKS.

p.s. fuck youtube’s quick capture i love it but fuck it

There are a growing number of websites that display information about what’s on other websites about other websites aggregating other websites’ links to other websites. Here’s a few nice ones that show websites’s updates being applied geographically to a map (these are usually based on google maps, if not always) in nigh-real-time:

• flickrvision - Shitty pictures people upload, as it happens. See many cats.
• twittervision - This is stupid mini-updates highlighting all the retarded minutia people think is interesting, but you never see in movies (because no one really wants to hear about or see what people do in the bathroom nineteen times a day). It’s called “micro-vomiting.” I like to watch when it focuses on tons of Japanese updates in succession because I can’t even pretend to read Japanese anymore. This is the pinnacle of the short attention span.
• wikipediavision - This one shows wiki updates by geography. See nerds flex.
• This site focuses just on map hack sites. You could say it updated you on updates from updated sites updating their update feeds or pinging the update pongshooter…calling them mashups the entire time.
• This crazy genius even made a (mac-only thus not valid) screensaver that shows what two of these sites display as updates when other sites make those updates, thus e-stalking the shit out of the entire world at once.
• flagr - This is insanity on a level I am having difficulty decoding. I think I might not understand why people want to use the internet to only ever talk about the real world. Maybe my thirst for meta-data is drastically and dangerously above average.

Is it ok for the internet to never shut up about the real world? Isn’t there more than reality, partially because of the internet?

I want to see a map update visualizer thing for last.fm (and possibly newbtube). That’s an official demand.

Ok, I’m going to admit that I am a bit of a fag for maps. Not necessarily these kinds of maps, but I’m saying I like maps. I kept a world map I had to track earthquakes worldwide for a class up for years. We have maps of Mars in our bedroom right now, framed. I used to draw maps and make out with maps and buy map porn. I was on map mailing lists and went to map tournaments and hung out at map bars. I was map-bashed and publicly ridiculed.

This meta-useless (though undeniably awesome) shit was brought to you by Web 2.0.

Update: I’d also like to see tag clouds for youtube, if anyone’s noticed any.

I often talk about how there are more people out there that are not happy consumers than is obvious. I am interested in the horrible things companies do to people because I want to see how far it will go before something fundamental changes or someone gets shot in the face.

This website seems to help. It’s a consumer advocacy site, with many rumors about it afloat, called Ripoff Report and anyone can submit (and any company can refute) reports of low-level fraud, corporate horseshit, etc.

No report is ever removed. No company has ever successfully sued the site. No one writing this article checked any facts in reference to this (possibly a future project to be undertaken at a later, more verbose, date).

It’s…girthful. People are pissed.

Oh and this website has all kinds of porn you’d probably recognize, viewable much like youtube.

I’ll be doing an occasional overview of movies being released on YouTube. You can find the first here, and the rest will eventually be here.

I really, really need to watch Videodrome again before I get myself tortured to death on an electrified clay wall. I’m about ankle deep in videos right now. For reference, I’m two feet past balls deep in drum and bass right now.

I have become completely convinced that YouTube is a fucking William Gibson novel still in progress.