fiction is lying.

This election is about serious issues. Seriously, it’s so fucking serious that I am letting myself put videos of two different sizes here at the same time. This is atrociously serious.

It’s time to get serious.

Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

The ass-end of this speech makes up for not being able to keep up for a few days.

These points are all solid and the idea of real hope in a cynical nightmare government is refreshing unhorrible. What is anyone doing right now but talking anyway? It’s goddamn talking season; we have to hear about these things.

Incidentally, he stole a huge part of this speech from a friend that steals large parts of his speeches. Oh nos plagerism!

I’m biased.

Tomorrow could be one of the biggest days in what will be our generation’s history. I talk about it too much already, so I promised I would keep this one brief (I lied). Also please don’t assume I’m jumping on some sort of endorsement bandwagon here, as I totally don’t care about endorsements outside of entertainment and I think it’s important for everyone to talk about this crap with everyone.

It is important that everyone makes time and goes to their polling place and sticks four fingers into the system that has been fucking up their lives for the past few years. The only way to beat this system is to use it; this is a basic fact of American civics.

I want to also note that it is particularly important for anyone under 25 to get the hell off of their lazy asses and just go to their polling places tomorrow and vote. Look up where it is, stop whining about it, and go do it. If you are an older person that cares about the horrors of government and interact with the 18-25s regularly, inspire them. Make it happen.

As for me, I will be representing my home state and the man whose birthday I stole next week (who understood the concept of inspiration as catalyst) by voting for the guy that announced his candidacy in the same place as some of the most eloquently backhanded speeches ever have been delivered.

I have been talking about this quite a lot over there on the twitter, but it’s not about buzzword bingo or hot shit trends or bandwagon bumblefuck. This is about reform that will relieve the poor of the rich’s burden (without empty leftist rhetoric promises). It is about technology not scaring off the elderly Washington geriatrics. It is about SERIOUSLY TECHNOLOGY IT’S THE FUTURE. It is about taking our country back from companies and stockholders by using it against itself. It is about diversity and proving to Negative Nancies™ that our country really has come this far.

I am a skeptic leaning far into the realm of cynicism. That cynicism is a result of the past seven years, and I don’t consider it permanent. I looked into this guy and the whole behind the scenes mess, and I said fuck libertarianism for a couple years if this will actually improve life. I genuinely think it will, and that is after excessive cynical review. I am much more surprised than I am proud to report that the state of Georgia agrees.

It is time to move on and up. This rutwalking can finally end with thinking positive, and I say that with the most respectably desperate tone possible. I already voted for this guy in Illinois, watched what he did after that, and now I’m going to vote for him again. Thank you for listening.

Supplemental: Here is a very detailed, objective assessment of Obama that I admire.

Ok, I know the name is weird and stupid, but this is a grassroots political support campaign on crystal meth. A site that strictly entertains videos of the Obama supporting persuasion, with no other rules. A truly democratic (hackable!) voting structure pushes popular shit to the top. The introduction:

It may seem obvious that years of experience in national politics would be the best preparation for the White House, but it’s not the case.

Look at two presidents who had the most political experience when they took office: Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. They had great experience, but they weren’t the greatest presidents. On the other hand, look at two presidents who had the least amount of experience: Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Now, decide if you want to vote just for experience or for the better candidate.

Weird defense to the experience thing, but an interesting statement of support. The consists of videos of all walks of Obama-supporting life. It combines YouTube with a sort of digg-like voting structure to support the candidate said to be most tech-savvy (he’s not scared of technology?! what!?).

Here’s hoping internet people understand that it’s up to them to get outside and make the magic spread from internet to their jobs and schools and prisons and churches and bars and all that. Talk about this shit in public; it is a public affair.

Oh shit! Obey has endorsed Obama!

I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician.

Designer endorsements…that is classy shit!

(obligatory rhetorical hypothetical: has Black President Fever taken off yet? tidal wave)

(more…)

So this crazy shit about what day is the most depressing of the year. There’s this theory about “blue Monday” which is basically:

…calculated by Dr. Cliff Arnall…and has been quoted in the popular press, although there is little if any scientific basis to his methods…”the fact is that Cliff Arnall’s equations are stupid, and some fail even to make mathematical sense on their own terms.” The date was calculated by using many factors…weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action…typically falls on the Monday of the last full week of January. This would make 21 January the Blue Monday of 2008.

So it sounds like it makes sense, awesome arbitrary formula, and it certainly aligns with a damned full moon week this year. That’s a one-two menstrual punch for some. Then TIME magazine has to get all pseudo-tech with the whole idea:

Aside from the fact that Arnall’s theory has been discounted by many in the academic community, I’ve got a better way of finding the true nadir of depression: Look to our search behavior. If we think we’re suffering from a real bout of the blues or a mental crisis, we’re likely to Google the symptoms. In fact, online searches for “depression” are among the most popular searches sending traffic to the 5,900 sites that we track, but the peak is not in January. According to our Internet behavior, our depression spikes reliably in mid-November every year, right in time for Thanksgiving, the launch of the holiday season.

That’s true too! Holy shit!

Or maybe we’re just all crazy. I know I am blessed with my own manstrual cycle that tortures me every four weeks. Serious.

The doctor guy says the best day of the year is in the 24ish part of June also.

Right, so I think it’s important to note that no other candidate talks about political and government reform. Meanwhile, this one guy is tired of the same old shit. From here:

Barack may be inspiring, and we may like his ideas, but he hasn’t been in Washington long enough. He hasn’t been stewed and seasoned long enough. We haven’t boiled all the hope out of him.

There’s a lot of connections being made here. It’s seeming less like impractical idealism and more like urgent reality by the day.

I no longer consider Huckabee a respectable candidate for president. I barely did before, but this is enough:

We’re not electing our pastors, priests, preachers, reverends, rabbis, shamans, mysticismists, or teachers here. We’re electing someone to manage a large part of the that godless heathen called the government. It cannot be tainted by one nor all religions.

After the rhetorical nightmare that has been the last seven years of ill-delivered mushmouth lies, can we elect someone that can hire speech writers or even deliver the speeches they write?

Obama says yes.

This election is great. The internets has turned it into a goddamned jungle gym of interesting things where previously only stood boring cardboard cutouts made of recycled newspaper from the 1950s. They report shit like sports on tv, and there’s hell of pornographic levels of numbers for statistics fags like me that love to plow into a watershed of bubbly phantom bits of information.

p.s. Clinton read her speech.

Could such an oddball but somehow sensible concept have prevented the Civil War? Ron Paul thinks so. After all, every other country did it without a civil war…

Driving from Illinois to Georgia, we saw someone with a Ron Paul bumper sticker somewhere in Tennessee. I didn’t think those existed in real life irlstyles meatspace.

Today the only other place on the street that was open was that huge coffee chain. Dude that is always there was talking Ron Paul with a customer.

Could an internet subculture be much much huger than the mass media portrays it? Yes. Would this be one of those cases? That question is why this is interesting.

You people out there; you know who you are. You are mentioning Ron Paul in every messageboard reply, in every dumb profile, and in every blogtastical entrifimication. Please stop it. He’s great. We know. That’s enough.

Repeatedly mentioning Ron Paul in everything on the internet is just going to make people react to Ron Paul in the same manner that they react to advertising. People will utter “ugh” and be reminded of the band The Eagles, and they will then proceed to dislike Ron Paul. It will backfire. Don’t overmention Ron Paul. You’re not even Republicans, and neither is he.

Please, internet. I implore you to hear my cries and stop mentioning Ron Paul like you’re some sort of motherfucking balls-deep, black-ops, brainwashing secret forces type of bullshit. You’re not brainwashing anyone or convincing them to vote for Ron Paul. You’re just being repetitive and annoying, and it will effect Ron Paul negatively. You are not tricking anyone.

Sadly, I offer no links to back up these statements about Ron Paul. Like it or not, he’s a serious motherfucker with crazy new old ideas.

Election ‘08 status: Still writing myself in.