This dude has been found by the aggregation websites. The more retarded among them think this man makes fetish videos. This is not devotion to a fetish, but to serious comedy:
Suppose for one second that he was actually making these videos for fetish purposes; do you know of any porn stars that work that much? Know anyone that smokes that much? He hasn’t even been a youtube member for one year. That means he’s making 20 or more videos per day. To suffer the annoyances of youtube through even 100 videos shows dedication; to have created thousands of videos is on the level of something that happens only in William Gibson novels.
He subscribed to my youtube channel a few months ago. His videos are endless and hilarious and mysterious. I didn’t say anything until now because I thought it was a weird dream I had.
He’s one of today’s most viewed comedians on the site now.
You can decide something this November. You will decide something this November. You will determine in a voting booth something that is more important than I could express in common internet folk-speak. This is a very crucial moment.
Rarely do Americans really get a chance to make a difference. Rarely do we have a time in history when Rome is so on fire that even the firemen can’t go in to save it because they don’t have health insurance. You can help save a fireman and change the world. This year you have a voice, and an important choice.
Previously, people didn’t listen to me. Look what has happened. Our financial markets are in ruin while a profiteer’s war rages on. Millions go without the basic tenets intended to make life in the United States fair and balanced. This is serious. It is up to you to save the world, country, and more. Don’t let me down again. We can do it together.
This November, if Barack Obama is elected to be president, I will redesign this website.
Seriously. Save that fireman.
(It should be noted that the last presidential election killed this website.)
This election is about serious issues. Seriously, it’s so fucking serious that I am letting myself put videos of two different sizes here at the same time. This is atrociously serious.
It’s time to get serious.
Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:
Also, the xbox is great. That’s what my surprise life-ruining baby turned out to be. Check me out on live I’m the same name as somewhere around here. I am pretty bad at games.
Not that I ever stopped tagging; I just figured I should say it into the darkness.
Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.
But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.
Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.
You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.
Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).
ABC decided it was an American political emergency to have a seriously straight-faced debate between Ron Jeremy and other people about pornography. It’s great, but good luck getting the goddamn video to work. Concerning the video player embedded on the ABCNews site which featured these Frontline episode videos, I was quoted in the New York Times as saying:
“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.
I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.
But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.
I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.
It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.
Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.
In case you haven’t been reminded the past few years (or specifically, since you gave up on everything on November 2, 2004), this little blurb from the kos (by Dan Kurtzman, from his book) is a nice refresher. If you’re like me, you completely shut off the sound or even mention of bullshit lib/con wars years ago when those assholes stole the country again, effectively destroying what I hoped would be the best decade of my life. Anyway:
Liberals believe in clean air, diplomacy, stem cells, living wages, body armor for our troops, government accountability, and that exercising the right to dissent is the highest form of patriotism.
Liberals believe in reading actual books, going to war as a last resort, separating church and hate, and doing what Jesus would actually do, instead of lobbying for upper-class tax cuts and fantasizing about the apocalypse.
Liberals believe in civil rights, the right to privacy, and that evolution and global warming aren’t just theories but incontrovertible scientific facts.
Liberals believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment that (1) prohibits another Bush from ever occupying the White House, and (2) prevents George W. Bush from ever becoming baseball commissioner before he does to our national pastime what he did for America.
Liberals believe in rescuing people from flooded streets and rooftops, even if they’re too poor to vote Republican.
Liberals believe that supporting our troops means treating our wounded vets like the heroes they are, and not leaving them to languish in rat-infested military hospitals under the outsourced management of incompetent cronies who think they’re running a Taco Bell franchise.
Liberals believe in pheromones, sex ed, solar panels, voting paper trails, the common good, and that, no matter how fascinating a story it may be, a president should never sit around in a state of total paralysis reading “My Pet Goat” while America is under attack.
And above all, liberals believe that it’s time to come together as a country and put a collective boot in the ass of shameless conservative fearmongers, hate merchants, and scapegoaters who are sucking the freedom out of all our souls.
I felt that was a nice reminder as to why we’re involved so much right now. You are still licensed by law to be enraged at the state of your country. Just as I am licensed by virtue to be enraged at the state of American health care and samaritanism. Like I’ve been saying for a while, this year’s fight is a complete downhill battle. Let’s just be sure to do our fair share and win it, and win it clean to rub it in. Then maybe we can pawn off this cynicism for some idealism and maybe progress.
Most important is that we always keep Fox News on the air to prove our dedication to reason and the First Amendment, in reverse order. Also for comedy.
If you haven’t heard about Benn Jordan, The Flashbulb, or how itunes stole and sold his music, here’s that interesting story (which is yet another reason not to patronize Apple or itunes). Long story short: dude gets his music stolen, so he and his label give it away and win from donations; internet works. As far as I know, he is the first artist to work with a private bittorrent site to distribute his music freely.
I’d like to formally recommend the album to anyone interested in film soundtracks or ambient type things in general. “Soundtrack to a Vacant Life” is described basically as it is titled, and while normally a much more aphexy musician, on this album he has toned and tuned everything to the pace of his life. This is a mostly relaxing trip through what I see as a truly grandiose statement of electronic music. This is a project I would do.
This story is a couple weeks old, but I finally finished getting to the album and I really wanted to mention it. This is part of us moving on. Check it out online.
Youtube Meta Comment Aggregation.
Saturday, March 1st, 2008Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.
But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.
Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.
I hereby submit my youtube comments in reverse chronological order for your perusal. Someone once called it “so funny”.
You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.
Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).
Tags: chuckles, comments, gay buzzwords, internet, obama, one-liners, quips, social networking, twitter, video, ymca, youtube
Posted in The Internet Effect, annoying embedded video, awesome, crazy, culture vulture, dramatick, hilarious, me, meta, shit jokes, tech, verbosity, video, www, zen | No Comments »