Archive for the ‘tech’ Category


Next Chapter.

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

And this is where people of sound mind who understand the importance of raw, unrelenting, offensively sexist data and move on to the next chapter in what will be the greatest thing on television in 2008:

If you’ve always not cared about politics, this is the time to be reminded why about half the time and completely confused at what you’re hearing the other half. If you’ve been cynical about politics the past ten years or just have some suspicious fondness for Reagan you can’t explain, this is time to watch the best reality tv since the 80s.

If you’re a fan of information, history, debate, civics, economics, war, skepticism, technology, nuclear power, or generational culture pattern shifting, you might be less disappointed than you’d expect this year.

Youtube Meta Comment Aggregation.

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.

But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.

Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.

I hereby submit my youtube comments in reverse chronological order for your perusal. Someone once called it “so funny”.

You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.

Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).

CNN Video - Breaking News Videos - Melted eyes

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

SERIOUS PROBLEM, Atlanta area child has melted eye from internet video unusable stupidity.

twitter: “CNN’s eye-melting white video site with the wrong-aspect video is fucking horrible.”

SERIOUS PROBLEM

White background melts eyes. Also the aspect ratio of the video is incorrect (is stretching fullscreen video in a widescreen player). Please change background to gray or other darker neutral color, replace player with standard “fullscreen” player, and promptly ship replacement eyes. Thank you.

Help. Leave a comment card today. I lost the link for you to do that. Our apologies.

Every time I update Wordpress they make a new goddamned version.

Last.fm journaling.

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

I guess I’ll mirror stuff I write on last.fm about songs here:

I’m intrigued by this phenomenon of a metal band here and there that are brutal as shit, yet end up being from some odd place (France? metal?) and have lyrics and themes out of left field (the environment? whales?).

A good example of how these out-of-nowhere combinations work very well is Gojira. It’s French technical death metal about environmental subjects. Flying Whales sounds like an Earth Day festival being torn down by whales with chainguns. You’d never think this stuff would be so epic, until you consider the big picture.

I am talking about the band Gojira and song Flying Whales. I’d let you hear it right now if Mog hadn’t got nerfed to uselessness by being bought by Rhapsody. You could say they got owned for being so shitty. The one use of the site is now ruin’d.

Oh, and I don’t feel like crawling all over the place looking for a flash mp3 player or something right this second. It’s always GIVE IT NOW with you people.

Also I’ve been working too much so I got no patience and that’s why I’m not entertaining you.

/update .sig “CHECK US OUT ONLINE”

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

I have updated my sig to increase heavy webs traffic. Tubes be slightly lubed and warmed and damned. Click it to see the not-crushed-by-wordpress sized image.

check us out online

This will increase immediate revenue streams, which should offset the recent effects on the household of the current mortgage crisis and stumpfucking recession.

Not really. This is not-for-profit. Also, the website just got vandalized back to normal. Graphs were taking nosedives.

Super Tuesday. Unifying for progress…what is this hippie shit?

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

I’m biased.

Barack Obama, Old State Capitol, Springfield, Illinois

Tomorrow could be one of the biggest days in what will be our generation’s history. I talk about it too much already, so I promised I would keep this one brief (I lied). Also please don’t assume I’m jumping on some sort of endorsement bandwagon here, as I totally don’t care about endorsements outside of entertainment and I think it’s important for everyone to talk about this crap with everyone.

It is important that everyone makes time and goes to their polling place and sticks four fingers into the system that has been fucking up their lives for the past few years. The only way to beat this system is to use it; this is a basic fact of American civics.

I want to also note that it is particularly important for anyone under 25 to get the hell off of their lazy asses and just go to their polling places tomorrow and vote. Look up where it is, stop whining about it, and go do it. If you are an older person that cares about the horrors of government and interact with the 18-25s regularly, inspire them. Make it happen.

As for me, I will be representing my home state and the man whose birthday I stole next week (who understood the concept of inspiration as catalyst) by voting for the guy that announced his candidacy in the same place as some of the most eloquently backhanded speeches ever have been delivered.

I have been talking about this quite a lot over there on the twitter, but it’s not about buzzword bingo or hot shit trends or bandwagon bumblefuck. This is about reform that will relieve the poor of the rich’s burden (without empty leftist rhetoric promises). It is about technology not scaring off the elderly Washington geriatrics. It is about SERIOUSLY TECHNOLOGY IT’S THE FUTURE. It is about taking our country back from companies and stockholders by using it against itself. It is about diversity and proving to Negative Nancies™ that our country really has come this far.

I am a skeptic leaning far into the realm of cynicism. That cynicism is a result of the past seven years, and I don’t consider it permanent. I looked into this guy and the whole behind the scenes mess, and I said fuck libertarianism for a couple years if this will actually improve life. I genuinely think it will, and that is after excessive cynical review. I am much more surprised than I am proud to report that the state of Georgia agrees.

It is time to move on and up. This rutwalking can finally end with thinking positive, and I say that with the most respectably desperate tone possible. I already voted for this guy in Illinois, watched what he did after that, and now I’m going to vote for him again. Thank you for listening.

Supplemental: Here is a very detailed, objective assessment of Obama that I admire.

YouBama.

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

Ok, I know the name is weird and stupid, but this is a grassroots political support campaign on crystal meth. A site that strictly entertains videos of the Obama supporting persuasion, with no other rules. A truly democratic (hackable!) voting structure pushes popular shit to the top. The introduction:

It may seem obvious that years of experience in national politics would be the best preparation for the White House, but it’s not the case.

Look at two presidents who had the most political experience when they took office: Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. They had great experience, but they weren’t the greatest presidents. On the other hand, look at two presidents who had the least amount of experience: Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Now, decide if you want to vote just for experience or for the better candidate.

Weird defense to the experience thing, but an interesting statement of support. The consists of videos of all walks of Obama-supporting life. It combines YouTube with a sort of digg-like voting structure to support the candidate said to be most tech-savvy (he’s not scared of technology?! what!?).

Here’s hoping internet people understand that it’s up to them to get outside and make the magic spread from internet to their jobs and schools and prisons and churches and bars and all that. Talk about this shit in public; it is a public affair.

A serial bunch of Os.

Sunday, January 27th, 2008

Oh shit! Obey has endorsed Obama!

oh shit

I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician.

Designer endorsements…that is classy shit!

(obligatory rhetorical hypothetical: has Black President Fever taken off yet? tidal wave)

(more…)

The Search for Depression: Blue Monday.

Monday, January 21st, 2008

So this crazy shit about what day is the most depressing of the year. There’s this theory about “blue Monday” which is basically:

…calculated by Dr. Cliff Arnall…and has been quoted in the popular press, although there is little if any scientific basis to his methods…”the fact is that Cliff Arnall’s equations are stupid, and some fail even to make mathematical sense on their own terms.” The date was calculated by using many factors…weather conditions, debt level, time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action…typically falls on the Monday of the last full week of January. This would make 21 January the Blue Monday of 2008.

So it sounds like it makes sense, awesome arbitrary formula, and it certainly aligns with a damned full moon week this year. That’s a one-two menstrual punch for some. Then TIME magazine has to get all pseudo-tech with the whole idea:

Aside from the fact that Arnall’s theory has been discounted by many in the academic community, I’ve got a better way of finding the true nadir of depression: Look to our search behavior. If we think we’re suffering from a real bout of the blues or a mental crisis, we’re likely to Google the symptoms. In fact, online searches for “depression” are among the most popular searches sending traffic to the 5,900 sites that we track, but the peak is not in January. According to our Internet behavior, our depression spikes reliably in mid-November every year, right in time for Thanksgiving, the launch of the holiday season.

That’s true too! Holy shit!

Or maybe we’re just all crazy. I know I am blessed with my own manstrual cycle that tortures me every four weeks. Serious.

The doctor guy says the best day of the year is in the 24ish part of June also.

Reconsidering twttr.

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

I didn’t know what Twitter could do. Now, I know all kinds of things that it can do, and the best part is basically none of them matter still (so feel free to forget!).

When you get some friends hooked up on there it gets a lot better. Start tracking things with an instant messager and it becomes a living news ticker.

Knowing some things it can do is a good initial step in the direction of eventual progress. What I’d really like to see is the point of the damned thing. I can’t manage to describe it or find a description that really tackles what it’s for and why what it does could ever possibly matter. Also, how are twtr clients sensible when you can do everything a client does with almost any instant messaging program?

After just finishing James Gleick’s Faster quickly, I feel like I have some sort of problem with microupdates. I know I think I know I don’t really though.

Ron Paul sky spam.

Friday, December 14th, 2007

The internet, unhappy with its futile Ron Paul spamming campaign, today launched a large flying object into the sky to spam the heavens themselves with Ron Paul mindshare.

This election is comedy gold.

Side note: this site now uses Google Analytics to maximize profits and achieve goals.