If you’ve always not cared about politics, this is the time to be reminded why about half the time and completely confused at what you’re hearing the other half. If you’ve been cynical about politics the past ten years or just have some suspicious fondness for Reagan you can’t explain, this is time to watch the best reality tv since the 80s.

If you’re a fan of information, history, debate, civics, economics, war, skepticism, technology, nuclear power, or generational culture pattern shifting, you might be less disappointed than you’d expect this year.

“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.

I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.

But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.

I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.

It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.

Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.

twitter: “CNN’s eye-melting white video site with the wrong-aspect video is fucking horrible.”

White background melts eyes. Also the aspect ratio of the video is incorrect (is stretching fullscreen video in a widescreen player). Please change background to gray or other darker neutral color, replace player with standard “fullscreen” player, and promptly ship replacement eyes. Thank you.

Help. Leave a comment card today. I lost the link for you to do that. Our apologies.

Every time I update Wordpress they make a new goddamned version.

This will increase immediate revenue streams, which should offset the recent effects on the household of the current mortgage crisis and stumpfucking recession.

Not really. This is not-for-profit. Also, the website just got vandalized back to normal. Graphs were taking nosedives.

Tomorrow could be one of the biggest days in what will be our generation’s history. I talk about it too much already, so I promised I would keep this one brief (I lied). Also please don’t assume I’m jumping on some sort of endorsement bandwagon here, as I totally don’t care about endorsements outside of entertainment and I think it’s important for everyone to talk about this crap with everyone.

It is important that everyone makes time and goes to their polling place and sticks four fingers into the system that has been fucking up their lives for the past few years. The only way to beat this system is to use it; this is a basic fact of American civics.

I want to also note that it is particularly important for anyone under 25 to get the hell off of their lazy asses and just go to their polling places tomorrow and vote. Look up where it is, stop whining about it, and go do it. If you are an older person that cares about the horrors of government and interact with the 18-25s regularly, inspire them. Make it happen.

As for me, I will be representing my home state and the man whose birthday I stole next week (who understood the concept of inspiration as catalyst) by voting for the guy that announced his candidacy in the same place as some of the most eloquently backhanded speeches ever have been delivered.

I have been talking about this quite a lot over there on the twitter, but it’s not about buzzword bingo or hot shit trends or bandwagon bumblefuck. This is about reform that will relieve the poor of the rich’s burden (without empty leftist rhetoric promises). It is about technology not scaring off the elderly Washington geriatrics. It is about SERIOUSLY TECHNOLOGY IT’S THE FUTURE. It is about taking our country back from companies and stockholders by using it against itself. It is about diversity and proving to Negative Nancies™ that our country really has come this far.

I am a skeptic leaning far into the realm of cynicism. That cynicism is a result of the past seven years, and I don’t consider it permanent. I looked into this guy and the whole behind the scenes mess, and I said fuck libertarianism for a couple years if this will actually improve life. I genuinely think it will, and that is after excessive cynical review. I am much more surprised than I am proud to report that the state of Georgia agrees.

It is time to move on and up. This rutwalking can finally end with thinking positive, and I say that with the most respectably desperate tone possible. I already voted for this guy in Illinois, watched what he did after that, and now I’m going to vote for him again. Thank you for listening.

Supplemental: Here is a very detailed, objective assessment of Obama that I admire.

It may seem obvious that years of experience in national politics would be the best preparation for the White House, but it’s not the case.

Look at two presidents who had the most political experience when they took office: Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. They had great experience, but they weren’t the greatest presidents. On the other hand, look at two presidents who had the least amount of experience: Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Now, decide if you want to vote just for experience or for the better candidate.

Weird defense to the experience thing, but an interesting statement of support. The consists of videos of all walks of Obama-supporting life. It combines YouTube with a sort of digg-like voting structure to support the candidate said to be most tech-savvy (he’s not scared of technology?! what!?).

Here’s hoping internet people understand that it’s up to them to get outside and make the magic spread from internet to their jobs and schools and prisons and churches and bars and all that. Talk about this shit in public; it is a public affair.

We’re not electing our pastors, priests, preachers, reverends, rabbis, shamans, mysticismists, or teachers here. We’re electing someone to manage a large part of the that godless heathen called the government. It cannot be tainted by one nor all religions.

Nick Swardson has a serious problem.

Note: This link is too meta.

Mr. Pregnant wants nothing but to eat your children at tea. Don’t watch it.

Driving from Illinois to Georgia, we saw someone with a Ron Paul bumper sticker somewhere in Tennessee. I didn’t think those existed in real life irlstyles meatspace.

Today the only other place on the street that was open was that huge coffee chain. Dude that is always there was talking Ron Paul with a customer.

Could an internet subculture be much much huger than the mass media portrays it? Yes. Would this be one of those cases? That question is why this is interesting.

If you don’t know what Channel101 is (or Yacht Rock or Classroom), or didn’t know what the Channies are, Channel101 is a democratic faux television station model of video production that is screened in Los Angeles monthly and the Channies are its incredibly prestigious awards.

Yeah, that’s a serious Tim and Eric explanation of Channel101. Seriously. Channel101 was created by the authors of my favorite comic book ever.

I am amazed at his stickiness. He seems to attract the undercurrent need of prototypical-American freedom in people. He brings up fundamental American issues that effect everyone (and always have), has interesting and different things to say about the junk topics being portrayed as the platform, and can even handle serious modern issues. His statements are all theoretically solid. He interests people that aren’t interested in politics. The dude sounds like Thomas Jefferson.

I’m wondering what kind of insane explosion an internet movement can cause in a real live grassroots campaign.

It’s worth noting I still don’t consider anyone ready to receive votes. I could be convinced though.

Addendum: hahah caught this related thing right after I made this.

(previous ron paul note)

This is essentially a compilation of my thoughts and reactions to the various things asked and said during these debates. Part 1 is here, and part 2 is here.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in film/video and digital media technology. What the hell people? There is no way I should be having this much trouble making this thing; i.e. everyone that regularly makes high-quality videos with the overshoot-and-edit-and-upload model deserves a significantly high five. I don’t really see myself being able to cope with Premiere for that long.

So if you’ve ever wanted to see me actually saying out loud the ridiculous, self-contradicting, political counter-terror-hobbyist rantings I’ve made elsewhere on the internet, here’s your big chance. And hey, I can spew my poisonous propaganda all over the place at the same time.

Winners: Ron Paul, John McCain, Mike Huckabee.

See for yourself.

What’s going on here? The oink site now links to a google search most likely intended to help you find this page, which links to a huge variety of torrent sites. I’m ok with the terminology “hydra” when applied to torrents.

He even changed the secret shady-as-hell note page, which made the ominous-yet-vaguely written propaganda threat page seem fake. Before it was changed, it was a note from the super-riaa (IFPI + BPI) to the police saying thanks for the help, and had the exact text for the threatening front page in its entirety. How official does that sound? Hopefully I won’t be picked up for plagiarizing this text, which was on the front page after being taken from here:

Pedro,

Many thanks for your assistance with this. Please find attached two logos for IFPI & BPI together with text to be displayed on a new homepage on the ‘Oink’ website. Can the logos be added to the page:

This site has been closed as a result of a criminal investigation by IFPI, BPI, Cleveland Police and the Fiscal Investigation Unit of the Dutch Police (FIOD ECD) into suspected illegal music distribution.

A criminal investigation continues into the identities and activities of the site’s users

Many thanks

Keith

The site was hijacked, literally. This organization had no authority to access or use the domain. Essentially, they pulled exactly the same trick that hacker kids do to sites they vandalize. Hijacking website is generally considered illegal.

This story just gets more weird and twisted as the days pass, but it seems like more sources are becoming respectable in reference to the whole mess.

Here is the best waffle recipe ever (yes, metric; fuck off):

• 50g Egg Yolks
• 15g Sucrose
• 1g Sea Salt
• ½ Vanilla Bean
• 125g Sifted Cake Flour
• 2.5g Baking Powder
• 50g Whole Milk
• 200g Heavy Cream
• 50g Butter (82% fat)
• 10g Dark Rum
• 1 pinch Cream of Tartar
• 45g Egg Whites

Mix wet crap and dry crap together, let it sit for a half hour, then cook in an iron or whatever. Best waffles ever. Seriously.

It’s like this haven where the assholes of the world can practice their craft, and no one is really harmed unless they fit very specific guidelines. That’s entertainment. That shit can’t be sold, bought, or written.

If the old internet had hypertext, the new internet has hyperhumor, and other such words so unbelievabearably gay that they should not exist.

The power of THE WIKI is indeniable.