fiction is lying.

This election is about serious issues. Seriously, it’s so fucking serious that I am letting myself put videos of two different sizes here at the same time. This is atrociously serious.

It’s time to get serious.

Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

In case you haven’t been reminded the past few years (or specifically, since you gave up on everything on November 2, 2004), this little blurb from the kos (by Dan Kurtzman, from his book) is a nice refresher. If you’re like me, you completely shut off the sound or even mention of bullshit lib/con wars years ago when those assholes stole the country again, effectively destroying what I hoped would be the best decade of my life. Anyway:

Liberals believe in clean air, diplomacy, stem cells, living wages, body armor for our troops, government accountability, and that exercising the right to dissent is the highest form of patriotism.

Liberals believe in reading actual books, going to war as a last resort, separating church and hate, and doing what Jesus would actually do, instead of lobbying for upper-class tax cuts and fantasizing about the apocalypse.

Liberals believe in civil rights, the right to privacy, and that evolution and global warming aren’t just theories but incontrovertible scientific facts.

Liberals believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment that (1) prohibits another Bush from ever occupying the White House, and (2) prevents George W. Bush from ever becoming baseball commissioner before he does to our national pastime what he did for America.

Liberals believe in rescuing people from flooded streets and rooftops, even if they’re too poor to vote Republican.

Liberals believe that supporting our troops means treating our wounded vets like the heroes they are, and not leaving them to languish in rat-infested military hospitals under the outsourced management of incompetent cronies who think they’re running a Taco Bell franchise.

Liberals believe in pheromones, sex ed, solar panels, voting paper trails, the common good, and that, no matter how fascinating a story it may be, a president should never sit around in a state of total paralysis reading “My Pet Goat” while America is under attack.

And above all, liberals believe that it’s time to come together as a country and put a collective boot in the ass of shameless conservative fearmongers, hate merchants, and scapegoaters who are sucking the freedom out of all our souls.

I felt that was a nice reminder as to why we’re involved so much right now. You are still licensed by law to be enraged at the state of your country. Just as I am licensed by virtue to be enraged at the state of American health care and samaritanism. Like I’ve been saying for a while, this year’s fight is a complete downhill battle. Let’s just be sure to do our fair share and win it, and win it clean to rub it in. Then maybe we can pawn off this cynicism for some idealism and maybe progress.

Most important is that we always keep Fox News on the air to prove our dedication to reason and the First Amendment, in reverse order. Also for comedy.

Ok. we now return to the anti-Hillary stuff.

p.s. lols@mccain sexstravaganza.

The ass-end of this speech makes up for not being able to keep up for a few days.

These points are all solid and the idea of real hope in a cynical nightmare government is refreshing unhorrible. What is anyone doing right now but talking anyway? It’s goddamn talking season; we have to hear about these things.

Incidentally, he stole a huge part of this speech from a friend that steals large parts of his speeches. Oh nos plagerism!

I’m biased.

Tomorrow could be one of the biggest days in what will be our generation’s history. I talk about it too much already, so I promised I would keep this one brief (I lied). Also please don’t assume I’m jumping on some sort of endorsement bandwagon here, as I totally don’t care about endorsements outside of entertainment and I think it’s important for everyone to talk about this crap with everyone.

It is important that everyone makes time and goes to their polling place and sticks four fingers into the system that has been fucking up their lives for the past few years. The only way to beat this system is to use it; this is a basic fact of American civics.

I want to also note that it is particularly important for anyone under 25 to get the hell off of their lazy asses and just go to their polling places tomorrow and vote. Look up where it is, stop whining about it, and go do it. If you are an older person that cares about the horrors of government and interact with the 18-25s regularly, inspire them. Make it happen.

As for me, I will be representing my home state and the man whose birthday I stole next week (who understood the concept of inspiration as catalyst) by voting for the guy that announced his candidacy in the same place as some of the most eloquently backhanded speeches ever have been delivered.

I have been talking about this quite a lot over there on the twitter, but it’s not about buzzword bingo or hot shit trends or bandwagon bumblefuck. This is about reform that will relieve the poor of the rich’s burden (without empty leftist rhetoric promises). It is about technology not scaring off the elderly Washington geriatrics. It is about SERIOUSLY TECHNOLOGY IT’S THE FUTURE. It is about taking our country back from companies and stockholders by using it against itself. It is about diversity and proving to Negative Nancies™ that our country really has come this far.

I am a skeptic leaning far into the realm of cynicism. That cynicism is a result of the past seven years, and I don’t consider it permanent. I looked into this guy and the whole behind the scenes mess, and I said fuck libertarianism for a couple years if this will actually improve life. I genuinely think it will, and that is after excessive cynical review. I am much more surprised than I am proud to report that the state of Georgia agrees.

It is time to move on and up. This rutwalking can finally end with thinking positive, and I say that with the most respectably desperate tone possible. I already voted for this guy in Illinois, watched what he did after that, and now I’m going to vote for him again. Thank you for listening.

Supplemental: Here is a very detailed, objective assessment of Obama that I admire.

Spongebob Squarepants probably endorses Barack Obama.

Ok, I know the name is weird and stupid, but this is a grassroots political support campaign on crystal meth. A site that strictly entertains videos of the Obama supporting persuasion, with no other rules. A truly democratic (hackable!) voting structure pushes popular shit to the top. The introduction:

It may seem obvious that years of experience in national politics would be the best preparation for the White House, but it’s not the case.

Look at two presidents who had the most political experience when they took office: Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard Nixon. They had great experience, but they weren’t the greatest presidents. On the other hand, look at two presidents who had the least amount of experience: Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Now, decide if you want to vote just for experience or for the better candidate.

Weird defense to the experience thing, but an interesting statement of support. The consists of videos of all walks of Obama-supporting life. It combines YouTube with a sort of digg-like voting structure to support the candidate said to be most tech-savvy (he’s not scared of technology?! what!?).

Here’s hoping internet people understand that it’s up to them to get outside and make the magic spread from internet to their jobs and schools and prisons and churches and bars and all that. Talk about this shit in public; it is a public affair.

Oh shit! Obey has endorsed Obama!

I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician.

Designer endorsements…that is classy shit!

(obligatory rhetorical hypothetical: has Black President Fever taken off yet? tidal wave)

(more…)

Right, so I think it’s important to note that no other candidate talks about political and government reform. Meanwhile, this one guy is tired of the same old shit. From here:

Barack may be inspiring, and we may like his ideas, but he hasn’t been in Washington long enough. He hasn’t been stewed and seasoned long enough. We haven’t boiled all the hope out of him.

There’s a lot of connections being made here. It’s seeming less like impractical idealism and more like urgent reality by the day.

I no longer consider Huckabee a respectable candidate for president. I barely did before, but this is enough:

We’re not electing our pastors, priests, preachers, reverends, rabbis, shamans, mysticismists, or teachers here. We’re electing someone to manage a large part of the that godless heathen called the government. It cannot be tainted by one nor all religions.

After the rhetorical nightmare that has been the last seven years of ill-delivered mushmouth lies, can we elect someone that can hire speech writers or even deliver the speeches they write?

Obama says yes.

This election is great. The internets has turned it into a goddamned jungle gym of interesting things where previously only stood boring cardboard cutouts made of recycled newspaper from the 1950s. They report shit like sports on tv, and there’s hell of pornographic levels of numbers for statistics fags like me that love to plow into a watershed of bubbly phantom bits of information.

p.s. Clinton read her speech.

Could such an oddball but somehow sensible concept have prevented the Civil War? Ron Paul thinks so. After all, every other country did it without a civil war…

Driving from Illinois to Georgia, we saw someone with a Ron Paul bumper sticker somewhere in Tennessee. I didn’t think those existed in real life irlstyles meatspace.

Today the only other place on the street that was open was that huge coffee chain. Dude that is always there was talking Ron Paul with a customer.

Could an internet subculture be much much huger than the mass media portrays it? Yes. Would this be one of those cases? That question is why this is interesting.