fiction is lying.

On the lookout for images of these in meatspace:

You can decide something this November. You will decide something this November. You will determine in a voting booth something that is more important than I could express in common internet folk-speak. This is a very crucial moment.

Rarely do Americans really get a chance to make a difference. Rarely do we have a time in history when Rome is so on fire that even the firemen can’t go in to save it because they don’t have health insurance. You can help save a fireman and change the world. This year you have a voice, and an important choice.

Previously, people didn’t listen to me. Look what has happened. Our financial markets are in ruin while a profiteer’s war rages on. Millions go without the basic tenets intended to make life in the United States fair and balanced. This is serious. It is up to you to save the world, country, and more. Don’t let me down again. We can do it together.

This November, if Barack Obama is elected to be president, I will redesign this website.

Seriously. Save that fireman.

(It should be noted that the last presidential election killed this website.)

SERIOUS PROBLEM, Atlanta area child has melted eye from internet video unusable stupidity.

twitter: “CNN’s eye-melting white video site with the wrong-aspect video is fucking horrible.”

White background melts eyes. Also the aspect ratio of the video is incorrect (is stretching fullscreen video in a widescreen player). Please change background to gray or other darker neutral color, replace player with standard “fullscreen” player, and promptly ship replacement eyes. Thank you.

Help. Leave a comment card today. I lost the link for you to do that. Our apologies.

Every time I update Wordpress they make a new goddamned version.

I have updated my sig to increase heavy webs traffic. Tubes be slightly lubed and warmed and damned. Click it to see the not-crushed-by-wordpress sized image.

This will increase immediate revenue streams, which should offset the recent effects on the household of the current mortgage crisis and stumpfucking recession.

Not really. This is not-for-profit. Also, the website just got vandalized back to normal. Graphs were taking nosedives.

Oh shit! Obey has endorsed Obama!

I feel that he is more a statesman than a politician.

Designer endorsements…that is classy shit!

(obligatory rhetorical hypothetical: has Black President Fever taken off yet? tidal wave)

(more…)

Well, it finally happened. I’ve been waiting for this since I became lazy and stupid enough to order pizza online seven or eight years ago:

What’s next? When will Pizza Hut have one live? When will Papa John’s go back to making the awesome pizza they made in what is soon becoming the distant past? When will the first advertisements outside of the normal advertisements come? When will it start having real-time to-the-minute predictions?

Which is more amazing: the fact that I know the pizza is being put into a box right this second, or the fact that I can talk about it online, with an image, and have forgotten about it by the time the pizza arrives?

Well, this is a goddamned hell of a good way to get the word out about last.fm:

That is the most disgusting code I’ve ever seen on anything that you’re supposed to embed on a webpage, ever. It’s really a damn shame because it’s slick. And I will say this station (Buckethead similar) is the best station I’ve found in a while.

The slider on this tag cloud of presidential speeches shows frequency of word usage and obvious trends in big media politics.

The above tag cloud shows the popularity, frequency, and trends in the usages of words within speeches, official documents, declarations, and letters written by the Presidents of the US between 1776 - 2007 AD.

Terrorist and Iraq have been the biggest words the past few years (6 years of terrer!), and economy’s been big since the 70s. There’s some very telling things inside these walls of text. It’s like flash cards of four year periods.

Gratuitously overmentioning family for stupid emotional points was invented by Ronald Reagan and crew in 1986! Seriously. It became a buzzword in 1986. It’s only been 20 years. We can overcome the bullshit rhetoric in politics and be real (and still lie about it even). We did it for hundreds of years.

Have a look at Franklin Roosevelt’s third (!) inaugural address (1941) or the social security announcement (1935), or . Those are serious problems. What the fuck do we think we’re doing now? p.s. Those were real speech writers like damn. That shit jerks tears.

(found here)

Today we’ll talking about how to import your bookmarks from browsers and convert your browsing methods to focus on the idea of remembering important things about the links instead of remembering where you put them. When you are considering hundreds of bookmarks, as many people have, this method is necessary for scaling and to prevent incredibly unnecessary limits.

The idea here is that using del.icio.us to do the work for you, it is possible to think about bookmarks, the internet, and navigation in a new way. The old way could be considered a rigid, organizational construct that is a leftover from a few decades of simple, common sense-based professional computing. This new way of approaching it is basically a by-product of the wholesale industry adoption of tagging, which is a construct of a lazy new generation really making computers do the work for them. The sad part is that this time laziness triumphs. Firefox makes it even easier.

If you don’t have a delicious account, go there and sign up, and then in the settings you will want to import or upload your current bookmarks. Don’t feel pressured; it took me about three years to do this.

From here, the flexibility of the system gets pretty insane. You can tag things however you want (for example, I didn’t tag anything old but tag everything new). This contrasts bookmarks in that there was only one place you could put one bookmark without duplicates. Now, you can have one bookmark with an endless amount of ways to organize and find it via infinite tags.

There’s more. You can subscribe to tags and get alerts from fairly specific triggers. You can add people to your network. You can add me and see what I mark. I watch people that I know have an eye for trends and the like. The great downfall of the networking on delicious is that right now (changing in 2.0) there is no simple way of inviting people or adding people; the only way is to visit their profile and hit add.

(Side note: you can bundle tags. This essentially means that you can tag tags. That drives me a little beyond the edge as it’s time to get less organized, not more!)

With all these benefits, a single notable negative trait, and the potential coming from the next version, not even I could continue to stubbornly insist on using browser-based, tagless, single-computer bookmarks. Thus, I recommend to others to join me in moving on (detailed usage video!).

Footnote: they’re called bookmarks, not favorites. That’s simple, settled, ancient terminology (and not even Microsoft can change it).

The new adult swim show for this week, Xavier: Renegade Angel is a cd-rom loaded nightmare from 1994. The show looks like cutscenes from all the adventure and puzzle games of the early 90s available on the revolutionary newish cd-rom format, or perhaps even cruder. It appears as if it could’ve been “shot” in Second Life with a shitty digital camera and then digitized (trans-en-re-enconvertificated) again for the internets.

You might recognize the voice of the dumb main character. It sounds like a few voices from one show in particular. The reason is because the show was made by the same folks that made Wonder Showzen, PFFR.

It’s tragically hip and mentally twisting.

Oh and I broke down and got Guitar Hero III. I cry about it in an emovideo here.

I finished hard in about six hours straight though, failing only on Raining Blood, thus sacrificing my shit to SLAYER

Also it’s awesome, but I really explain it in the emovideo if you care about that kind of game, including some problems (I forgot to mention the almost unnoticeable ads), none of which really involved SLAYER

HATE THE NEW LOADING SCREEN AND THE LEAD SINGER HATE HATE HATE

Otherwise new art is good and all that mess. Some of the character exaggerations are for the best, and others aren’t. There’s surprises and disappointments (oh, my Judy, what did you do with your clothes!), and a hell of a lot of new crap to break your hands playing SLAYER

I cannot wait to stick all five fingers way up deep all gross into expert.