Suppose for one second that he was actually making these videos for fetish purposes; do you know of any porn stars that work that much? Know anyone that smokes that much? He hasn’t even been a youtube member for one year. That means he’s making 20 or more videos per day. To suffer the annoyances of youtube through even 100 videos shows dedication; to have created thousands of videos is on the level of something that happens only in William Gibson novels.

He subscribed to my youtube channel a few months ago. His videos are endless and hilarious and mysterious. I didn’t say anything until now because I thought it was a weird dream I had.

He’s one of today’s most viewed comedians on the site now.

The Pez painting is 19:1 scale.

How far we’ve fallen. What was lost in MTV’s destruction will never be completely explained or retrieved. It’s sad, but at least we now have these things to take us back to those innocent times. It is still pathetic, however, that a Britney Spears video is the most viewed on this site. Have some fucking decency, people.

Now, if it were only possible to resurrect the golden age of animation…

It’s time to get serious.

Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.

I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.

But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.

I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.

It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.

Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.

I’d like to formally recommend the album to anyone interested in film soundtracks or ambient type things in general. “Soundtrack to a Vacant Life” is described basically as it is titled, and while normally a much more aphexy musician, on this album he has toned and tuned everything to the pace of his life. This is a mostly relaxing trip through what I see as a truly grandiose statement of electronic music. This is a project I would do.

This story is a couple weeks old, but I finally finished getting to the album and I really wanted to mention it. This is part of us moving on. Check it out online.

twitter: “CNN’s eye-melting white video site with the wrong-aspect video is fucking horrible.”

White background melts eyes. Also the aspect ratio of the video is incorrect (is stretching fullscreen video in a widescreen player). Please change background to gray or other darker neutral color, replace player with standard “fullscreen” player, and promptly ship replacement eyes. Thank you.

Help. Leave a comment card today. I lost the link for you to do that. Our apologies.

Every time I update Wordpress they make a new goddamned version.

I’m intrigued by this phenomenon of a metal band here and there that are brutal as shit, yet end up being from some odd place (France? metal?) and have lyrics and themes out of left field (the environment? whales?).

A good example of how these out-of-nowhere combinations work very well is Gojira. It’s French technical death metal about environmental subjects. Flying Whales sounds like an Earth Day festival being torn down by whales with chainguns. You’d never think this stuff would be so epic, until you consider the big picture.

I am talking about the band Gojira and song Flying Whales. I’d let you hear it right now if Mog hadn’t got nerfed to uselessness by being bought by Rhapsody. You could say they got owned for being so shitty. The one use of the site is now ruin’d.

Oh, and I don’t feel like crawling all over the place looking for a flash mp3 player or something right this second. It’s always GIVE IT NOW with you people.

Also I’ve been working too much so I got no patience and that’s why I’m not entertaining you.

Sometimes things just seem clear for a second. Dark sometimes, but clear.

Seriously. The roads become much like a pinball machine. Everyone talks about how they next day is already a snow day even though an inch hasn’t stuck and it’s going to stop soon. They talk about being trapped at work and having to sleep there.

It’s hilarious. Oh and certainly a bit more in a few hours than we’ve gotten the past two years.

Of course it was shitty frozen rain by the time I left, but that doesn’t matter.

This is part one of three. Stay tuned for the rest (the video feed on the right or do your youtube thing on it or whatever), which is a detailed discussion of your options when approaching the arena of electronic games in a manner that doesn’t piss off god.

IN FACT see you tomorrow here is part 2 and part 3 (it is arguably worth watching all three).

What’s next? When will Pizza Hut have one live? When will Papa John’s go back to making the awesome pizza they made in what is soon becoming the distant past? When will the first advertisements outside of the normal advertisements come? When will it start having real-time to-the-minute predictions?

Which is more amazing: the fact that I know the pizza is being put into a box right this second, or the fact that I can talk about it online, with an image, and have forgotten about it by the time the pizza arrives?

“…the advances in technology impacts everyone, and we all must adapt…This market consists of individuals embracing innovations faster than the fans of classical and jazz music.”

“What is important for the music industry to understand is that this really doesn’t hurt the artists.

Not sure what the jazz and classical thing is supposed to mean, but he was probably high.

The RIAA and friends say file-sharing is hurtful stealing that kills the blood cells of huge artists and gives them HIV. Why would you believe companies that steal from the very artists they pretend to protect? Everyone knows almost all music contracts are completely one-sided deals that artists hardly benefit from in comparison to the contractor. Fun fact:

50 Cent has engaged in numerous feuds with other rappers including Ja Rule, The Game, and Fat Joe.

THE DUDE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. He deserves serious respect, even if he was blazed out of his brainhole during the interview; he utters truth. File sharing hurts profits, not artists.

This method has come under frequent use the past couple of years under what has become the insane modern umbrella of serious comedy.

With some comedy we are just past the point of jokes, where a joke can even be past itself, and this is that case. The real emphasis lies in drawing attention to the argument despite its pointlessness. This is a serious matter. This is acting; there’s an art form in excessively pigheaded lying.

Seem familiar? If you work in a bureaucratic environment, this crap tends to happen in real life! Politics? Watch a modern debate and tell me those guys are pushing lies to the point of comedy. They use this beyond circular reasoning crap as a debate tactic. It’s post-ironic.

Virus Status: Safe!
Your computer is free of known threats.

22981388328 files scanned, 0 file(s) infected on your disk drives.

No viruses were detected in memory.

Your computer is free of known threats.

You do not need antivirus software, or at least you haven’t for the past two years. Did you have it?

Sarc says 40% of their scans showed a need. I am not convinced.

The idea here is that using del.icio.us to do the work for you, it is possible to think about bookmarks, the internet, and navigation in a new way. The old way could be considered a rigid, organizational construct that is a leftover from a few decades of simple, common sense-based professional computing. This new way of approaching it is basically a by-product of the wholesale industry adoption of tagging, which is a construct of a lazy new generation really making computers do the work for them. The sad part is that this time laziness triumphs. Firefox makes it even easier.

If you don’t have a delicious account, go there and sign up, and then in the settings you will want to import or upload your current bookmarks. Don’t feel pressured; it took me about three years to do this.

From here, the flexibility of the system gets pretty insane. You can tag things however you want (for example, I didn’t tag anything old but tag everything new). This contrasts bookmarks in that there was only one place you could put one bookmark without duplicates. Now, you can have one bookmark with an endless amount of ways to organize and find it via infinite tags.

There’s more. You can subscribe to tags and get alerts from fairly specific triggers. You can add people to your network. You can add me and see what I mark. I watch people that I know have an eye for trends and the like. The great downfall of the networking on delicious is that right now (changing in 2.0) there is no simple way of inviting people or adding people; the only way is to visit their profile and hit add.

(Side note: you can bundle tags. This essentially means that you can tag tags. That drives me a little beyond the edge as it’s time to get less organized, not more!)

With all these benefits, a single notable negative trait, and the potential coming from the next version, not even I could continue to stubbornly insist on using browser-based, tagless, single-computer bookmarks. Thus, I recommend to others to join me in moving on (detailed usage video!).

Footnote: they’re called bookmarks, not favorites. That’s simple, settled, ancient terminology (and not even Microsoft can change it).

The Oregon Attorney General, working with the University, has filed a motion in court to quash the legal move by the Recording Industry Association of America, which the University says is trying to force the educational institution to perform a legal investigation for the benefit of a private corporation. The agrieved parties ought to perform their own investigation, the University argues.

A number of the names requested are of students living in University of Oregon dorms, making it impossible to determine which of the students living there downloaded the music, representatives of the school said. The U of O is infamous for its inhumanely cramped dorm rooms, though, making it improbable that one resident could have committed such an act without the other being intimately aware.

What is sad to me about this is that the RIAA continues its tactics of calling out shit for piracy at random when confronted. This isn’t quite as dumb as government officials crying terrorism out of every window, and is certainly no straight McCarthyism, but it’s not far off, either. It’s very obvious that this organization is very frightened, out of ideas, and completely on the defensive.

Finally someone throws it back in their face. High fives to Oregon.

My 100th favorited video is a seasonally appropriate thing I have seen about 97,000 times because it’s on at work. It’s a damned JCPenney commercial, but holy hell is it well done.

This is essentially a compilation of my thoughts and reactions to the various things asked and said during these debates. Part 1 is here, and part 2 is here.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in film/video and digital media technology. What the hell people? There is no way I should be having this much trouble making this thing; i.e. everyone that regularly makes high-quality videos with the overshoot-and-edit-and-upload model deserves a significantly high five. I don’t really see myself being able to cope with Premiere for that long.

So if you’ve ever wanted to see me actually saying out loud the ridiculous, self-contradicting, political counter-terror-hobbyist rantings I’ve made elsewhere on the internet, here’s your big chance. And hey, I can spew my poisonous propaganda all over the place at the same time.

Winners: Ron Paul, John McCain, Mike Huckabee.

Familiar music (glad they beefed it up for us)? Assuming the lost levels thing isn’t entirely bullshit hearsay, there are a few problems with either the myth or the actual decision Nintendo made.

If you look at other Nintendo Entertainment System series, you see that sequels became a commonplace way to get more games out, and in many cases just make some cash for garbage. But those sequels generally had a few things in common.

1. They sold.
2. They looked very, very similar to their predecessors: Mega Man, Double Dragon, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, Metroid, Dragon Warrior, Adventure Island, etc.
3. They were almost never an entirely different Japanese game in disguise with very few changes.
4. They always warranted unneeded items on lists, or even unneeded lists.

Mario’s a weirdo all because they decided to make his first sequel another goddamn game in disguise.

One of the few major exceptions to this rule, which also follows the “logic” behind the Mario Bro decision, is Zelda. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, looked very little like its predecessor, but maintained Zelda continuity traditions that continue today. Zelda II was, however, insanely difficult.

Zelda stories are like a comic book over the years. The stories come from different places and do different things. Link is a bunch of different dudes. Mario’s just one guy. It seems now that he hasn’t changed at all since Super Mario Bros. 3. Instead, the game engines that drew him did. He’s a brutally minimal example of technological evolution, as are the worlds he lands in. Mario is video games.