Archive for the ‘corporate’ Category

I knew the Argentinian pipesman would come up again.

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

This dude has been found by the aggregation websites. The more retarded among them think this man makes fetish videos. This is not devotion to a fetish, but to serious comedy:


Suppose for one second that he was actually making these videos for fetish purposes; do you know of any porn stars that work that much? Know anyone that smokes that much? He hasn’t even been a youtube member for one year. That means he’s making 20 or more videos per day. To suffer the annoyances of youtube through even 100 videos shows dedication; to have created thousands of videos is on the level of something that happens only in William Gibson novels.

He subscribed to my youtube channel a few months ago. His videos are endless and hilarious and mysterious. I didn’t say anything until now because I thought it was a weird dream I had.

He’s one of today’s most viewed comedians on the site now.

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Show and tell video: 50+ things.

Sunday, December 7th, 2008

Here is a video about shit I have laying around that I like:

The Pez painting is 19:1 scale.

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MTV is still trying.

Saturday, November 8th, 2008

After years of destroying its own reputation as a television station that shows music videos, MTV is trying to redeem itself in part by putting on the internet what it should not have ever removed from its television station. The video archive seems to be succeeding.

How far we’ve fallen. What was lost in MTV’s destruction will never be completely explained or retrieved. It’s sad, but at least we now have these things to take us back to those innocent times. It is still pathetic, however, that a Britney Spears video is the most viewed on this site. Have some fucking decency, people.

Now, if it were only possible to resurrect the golden age of animation…

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The most important attack ad of the year.

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

This election is about serious issues. Seriously, it’s so fucking serious that I am letting myself put videos of two different sizes here at the same time. This is atrociously serious.

It’s time to get serious.

Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

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Is America Addicted to Porn? Serious news.

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

ABC decided it was an American political emergency to have a seriously straight-faced debate between Ron Jeremy and other people about pornography. It’s great, but good luck getting the goddamn video to work. Concerning the video player embedded on the ABCNews site which featured these Frontline episode videos, I was quoted in the New York Times as saying:

“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.

I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.

But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.

I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.

It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.

Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.

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The Flashbulb is.

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

If you haven’t heard about Benn Jordan, The Flashbulb, or how itunes stole and sold his music, here’s that interesting story (which is yet another reason not to patronize Apple or itunes). Long story short: dude gets his music stolen, so he and his label give it away and win from donations; internet works. As far as I know, he is the first artist to work with a private bittorrent site to distribute his music freely.

I’d like to formally recommend the album to anyone interested in film soundtracks or ambient type things in general. “Soundtrack to a Vacant Life” is described basically as it is titled, and while normally a much more aphexy musician, on this album he has toned and tuned everything to the pace of his life. This is a mostly relaxing trip through what I see as a truly grandiose statement of electronic music. This is a project I would do.

This story is a couple weeks old, but I finally finished getting to the album and I really wanted to mention it. This is part of us moving on. Check it out online.

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CNN Video – Breaking News Videos – Melted eyes

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

SERIOUS PROBLEM, Atlanta area child has melted eye from internet video unusable stupidity.

twitter: “CNN’s eye-melting white video site with the wrong-aspect video is fucking horrible.”

SERIOUS PROBLEM

White background melts eyes. Also the aspect ratio of the video is incorrect (is stretching fullscreen video in a widescreen player). Please change background to gray or other darker neutral color, replace player with standard “fullscreen” player, and promptly ship replacement eyes. Thank you.

Help. Leave a comment card today. I lost the link for you to do that. Our apologies.

Every time I update Wordpress they make a new goddamned version.

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Last.fm journaling.

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

I guess I’ll mirror stuff I write on last.fm about songs here:

I’m intrigued by this phenomenon of a metal band here and there that are brutal as shit, yet end up being from some odd place (France? metal?) and have lyrics and themes out of left field (the environment? whales?).

A good example of how these out-of-nowhere combinations work very well is Gojira. It’s French technical death metal about environmental subjects. Flying Whales sounds like an Earth Day festival being torn down by whales with chainguns. You’d never think this stuff would be so epic, until you consider the big picture.

I am talking about the band Gojira and song Flying Whales. I’d let you hear it right now if Mog hadn’t got nerfed to uselessness by being bought by Rhapsody. You could say they got owned for being so shitty. The one use of the site is now ruin’d.

Oh, and I don’t feel like crawling all over the place looking for a flash mp3 player or something right this second. It’s always GIVE IT NOW with you people.

Also I’ve been working too much so I got no patience and that’s why I’m not entertaining you.

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Projection.

Monday, January 21st, 2008

Click this here small version (stupid wordpress hates big pictures) of this here moment of clarity I stole from earlier:

click this it'll open

Sometimes things just seem clear for a second. Dark sometimes, but clear.

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fiction is lying is Georgia snow friendly.

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Tonight, many people in Georgia snow the biggest snow they have ever seen. Some saw it for the first time, and some were merely amused by how ridiculously retarded everyone gets when something falls from the sky.

run for your lifes its snow

Seriously. The roads become much like a pinball machine. Everyone talks about how they next day is already a snow day even though an inch hasn’t stuck and it’s going to stop soon. They talk about being trapped at work and having to sleep there.

It’s hilarious. Oh and certainly a bit more in a few hours than we’ve gotten the past two years.

Of course it was shitty frozen rain by the time I left, but that doesn’t matter.

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Religious Paraphernalia: January 2008.

Monday, January 14th, 2008

I examined a pamphlet book type thing that fell on my head one day in this video.

This is part one of three. Stay tuned for the rest (the video feed on the right or do your youtube thing on it or whatever), which is a detailed discussion of your options when approaching the arena of electronic games in a manner that doesn’t piss off god.

IN FACT see you tomorrow here is part 2 and part 3 (it is arguably worth watching all three).

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