I have a box that does a special thing when you talk to it.
It’s powered by magic.
Archive for the ‘awesome’ Category
I’ve been tagging again.
Thursday, April 3rd, 2008Get to know my one-word descriptions for songs and bands! I’ve been tagging hell of shit as I listen to it lately so there’s a complete digital paper trail of breadcrumb-shaped tags describing the horrible crap I’ve been subjecting myself to lately.
It’s great. It’s been great.
Also, the xbox is great. That’s what my surprise life-ruining baby turned out to be. Check me out on live I’m the same name as somewhere around here. I am pretty bad at games.
Not that I ever stopped tagging; I just figured I should say it into the darkness.
Where the fuck are you part 90: Mass Effect.
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008Mass Effect is one of those games that changes the way you think about games and what they should do for you and what you should do with them. That’s where I’ve been. I didn’t know I had been waiting for the damn thing my whole life. This shit changes what your mind lets qualify as epic.
(and basically every single thing to suck about knights…gone)
I rate it a million stars. That’s a space joke.
Is America Addicted to Porn? Serious news.
Saturday, March 1st, 2008ABC decided it was an American political emergency to have a seriously straight-faced debate between Ron Jeremy and other people about pornography. It’s great, but good luck getting the goddamn video to work. Concerning the video player embedded on the ABCNews site which featured these Frontline episode videos, I was quoted in the New York Times as saying:
“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.
But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.
I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.
It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.
Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.
Liberal still isn’t a bad word.
Thursday, February 21st, 2008In case you haven’t been reminded the past few years (or specifically, since you gave up on everything on November 2, 2004), this little blurb from the kos (by Dan Kurtzman, from his book) is a nice refresher. If you’re like me, you completely shut off the sound or even mention of bullshit lib/con wars years ago when those assholes stole the country again, effectively destroying what I hoped would be the best decade of my life. Anyway:
Liberals believe in clean air, diplomacy, stem cells, living wages, body armor for our troops, government accountability, and that exercising the right to dissent is the highest form of patriotism.Liberals believe in reading actual books, going to war as a last resort, separating church and hate, and doing what Jesus would actually do, instead of lobbying for upper-class tax cuts and fantasizing about the apocalypse.
Liberals believe in civil rights, the right to privacy, and that evolution and global warming aren’t just theories but incontrovertible scientific facts.
Liberals believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment that (1) prohibits another Bush from ever occupying the White House, and (2) prevents George W. Bush from ever becoming baseball commissioner before he does to our national pastime what he did for America.
Liberals believe in rescuing people from flooded streets and rooftops, even if they’re too poor to vote Republican.
Liberals believe that supporting our troops means treating our wounded vets like the heroes they are, and not leaving them to languish in rat-infested military hospitals under the outsourced management of incompetent cronies who think they’re running a Taco Bell franchise.
Liberals believe in pheromones, sex ed, solar panels, voting paper trails, the common good, and that, no matter how fascinating a story it may be, a president should never sit around in a state of total paralysis reading “My Pet Goat” while America is under attack.
And above all, liberals believe that it’s time to come together as a country and put a collective boot in the ass of shameless conservative fearmongers, hate merchants, and scapegoaters who are sucking the freedom out of all our souls.
I felt that was a nice reminder as to why we’re involved so much right now. You are still licensed by law to be enraged at the state of your country. Just as I am licensed by virtue to be enraged at the state of American health care and samaritanism. Like I’ve been saying for a while, this year’s fight is a complete downhill battle. Let’s just be sure to do our fair share and win it, and win it clean to rub it in. Then maybe we can pawn off this cynicism for some idealism and maybe progress.
Most important is that we always keep Fox News on the air to prove our dedication to reason and the First Amendment, in reverse order. Also for comedy.
Ok. we now return to the anti-Hillary stuff.
p.s. lols@mccain sexstravaganza.
The Flashbulb is.
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008If you haven’t heard about Benn Jordan, The Flashbulb, or how itunes stole and sold his music, here’s that interesting story (which is yet another reason not to patronize Apple or itunes). Long story short: dude gets his music stolen, so he and his label give it away and win from donations; internet works. As far as I know, he is the first artist to work with a private bittorrent site to distribute his music freely.
I’d like to formally recommend the album to anyone interested in film soundtracks or ambient type things in general. “Soundtrack to a Vacant Life” is described basically as it is titled, and while normally a much more aphexy musician, on this album he has toned and tuned everything to the pace of his life. This is a mostly relaxing trip through what I see as a truly grandiose statement of electronic music. This is a project I would do.
This story is a couple weeks old, but I finally finished getting to the album and I really wanted to mention it. This is part of us moving on. Check it out online.
Last.fm journaling.
Sunday, February 10th, 2008I guess I’ll mirror stuff I write on last.fm about songs here:
I’m intrigued by this phenomenon of a metal band here and there that are brutal as shit, yet end up being from some odd place (France? metal?) and have lyrics and themes out of left field (the environment? whales?).
A good example of how these out-of-nowhere combinations work very well is Gojira. It’s French technical death metal about environmental subjects. Flying Whales sounds like an Earth Day festival being torn down by whales with chainguns. You’d never think this stuff would be so epic, until you consider the big picture.
I am talking about the band Gojira and song Flying Whales. I’d let you hear it right now if Mog hadn’t got nerfed to uselessness by being bought by Rhapsody. You could say they got owned for being so shitty. The one use of the site is now ruin’d.
Oh, and I don’t feel like crawling all over the place looking for a flash mp3 player or something right this second. It’s always GIVE IT NOW with you people.
Also I’ve been working too much so I got no patience and that’s why I’m not entertaining you.
fiction is lying is Georgia snow friendly.
Thursday, January 17th, 2008Tonight, many people in Georgia snow the biggest snow they have ever seen. Some saw it for the first time, and some were merely amused by how ridiculously retarded everyone gets when something falls from the sky.
Seriously. The roads become much like a pinball machine. Everyone talks about how they next day is already a snow day even though an inch hasn’t stuck and it’s going to stop soon. They talk about being trapped at work and having to sleep there.
It’s hilarious. Oh and certainly a bit more in a few hours than we’ve gotten the past two years.
Of course it was shitty frozen rain by the time I left, but that doesn’t matter.
Channy Awards 2007.
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007The Channel101 Incredibly Prestigious Achievement Awards happened. They’re pretty good picks. I missed a couple things and it’s awesome to have them dropped in my lap.
If you don’t know what Channel101 is (or Yacht Rock or Classroom), or didn’t know what the Channies are, Channel101 is a democratic faux television station model of video production that is screened in Los Angeles monthly and the Channies are its incredibly prestigious awards.
Yeah, that’s a serious Tim and Eric explanation of Channel101. Seriously. Channel101 was created by the authors of my favorite comic book ever.
50 Cent’s Two Cents Re: p2p.
Saturday, December 8th, 2007“…the advances in technology impacts everyone, and we all must adapt…This market consists of individuals embracing innovations faster than the fans of classical and jazz music.â€
“What is important for the music industry to understand is that this really doesn’t hurt the artists.
Not sure what the jazz and classical thing is supposed to mean, but he was probably high.
The RIAA and friends say file-sharing is hurtful stealing that kills the blood cells of huge artists and gives them HIV. Why would you believe companies that steal from the very artists they pretend to protect? Everyone knows almost all music contracts are completely one-sided deals that artists hardly benefit from in comparison to the contractor. Fun fact:
50 Cent has engaged in numerous feuds with other rappers including Ja Rule, The Game, and Fat Joe.
THE DUDE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. He deserves serious respect, even if he was blazed out of his brainhole during the interview; he utters truth. File sharing hurts profits, not artists.
Youtube Meta Comment Aggregation.
Saturday, March 1st, 2008Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.
But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.
Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.
I hereby submit my youtube comments in reverse chronological order for your perusal. Someone once called it “so funny”.
You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.
Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).
Tags: chuckles, comments, gay buzzwords, internet, obama, one-liners, quips, social networking, twitter, video, ymca, youtube
Posted in The Internet Effect, annoying embedded video, awesome, crazy, culture vulture, dramatick, hilarious, me, meta, shit jokes, tech, verbosity, video, www, zen | No Comments »