fiction is lying.

We leave for Oregon July 14, 2008.

Dear Chester Pseudononymous,
Your subscription to Xbox Live Prepaid 1 month Gold Membership Card will expire on Sunday, July 13, 2008. To avoid a possible interruption of your subscription service, please renew your subscription by Sunday, July 13, 2008.

All of our shit leaves for Oregon July 10, 2008.

Jet-lag ghost versions of us are scheduled to start our respective new jobs the 15th and 16th of July.

Complete extraction and relocation should be complete by the 18th of July. All of our shit should get there a few days later, but jet-lag ghost versions of our shit will be there that day.

I have been writing a little at last.fm, but that’s about it lately.

Oh and watching newsvideo shit’s been pretty slownewsday’d lately. Where be the action?

And this is where people of sound mind who understand the importance of raw, unrelenting, offensively sexist data and move on to the next chapter in what will be the greatest thing on television in 2008:

If you’ve always not cared about politics, this is the time to be reminded why about half the time and completely confused at what you’re hearing the other half. If you’ve been cynical about politics the past ten years or just have some suspicious fondness for Reagan you can’t explain, this is time to watch the best reality tv since the 80s.

If you’re a fan of information, history, debate, civics, economics, war, skepticism, technology, nuclear power, or generational culture pattern shifting, you might be less disappointed than you’d expect this year.

I have been writing a little at last.fm, but that’s about it lately.

Oh and watching newsvideo shit’s been getting warmed up.

This election is about serious issues. Seriously, it’s so fucking serious that I am letting myself put videos of two different sizes here at the same time. This is atrociously serious.

It’s time to get serious.

Oh, and we can’t forget Bill Clinton’s endorsement of Barack Obama:

Get to know my one-word descriptions for songs and bands! I’ve been tagging hell of shit as I listen to it lately so there’s a complete digital paper trail of breadcrumb-shaped tags describing the horrible crap I’ve been subjecting myself to lately.

It’s great. It’s been great.

Also, the xbox is great. That’s what my surprise life-ruining baby turned out to be. Check me out on live I’m the same name as somewhere around here. I am pretty bad at games.

Not that I ever stopped tagging; I just figured I should say it into the darkness.

This site will not be updated until further notice. I am pregnant.

Mass Effect is one of those games that changes the way you think about games and what they should do for you and what you should do with them. That’s where I’ve been. I didn’t know I had been waiting for the damn thing my whole life. This shit changes what your mind lets qualify as epic.

(and basically every single thing to suck about knights…gone)

I rate it a million stars. That’s a space joke.

Attention internet: I understand that twitter is funny one-liner land, or whatever you think because that’s my probably final and determined determination of its purpose. One-liners and links and gratuitous Obama oversupportion. That’s the twitter answer.

But here’s the thing. There’s this site called youtube where I look at a lot of videos, some of which people put on the internet. They stream; it’s fucking crazy. Anyways, I talk back to these people because the internet is the land of backtalk and the sharplie-tongue’d quipz.

Next: youtube recently changed their thing to let you put your most recent comments on your channel page. IN ADDITION, there is now a page where you can view your comments.

I hereby submit my youtube comments in reverse chronological order for your perusal. Someone once called it “so funny”.

You should turn this feature on if you use youtube, and then throw me a link so I can do chu’kles t’our quips. That’s laughing at our smart response to stupid reality.

Bonus video because I can’t talk about youtube without offering a video that explicitly solicits unsolicited solicitations of critical materials (that’s you commenting about wha’ happen’d).

ABC decided it was an American political emergency to have a seriously straight-faced debate between Ron Jeremy and other people about pornography. It’s great, but good luck getting the goddamn video to work. Concerning the video player embedded on the ABCNews site which featured these Frontline episode videos, I was quoted in the New York Times as saying:

“This ABC news embedded video player is the worst thing technology has ever produced. It just plain doesn’t work. At all. With any browser.” Holy fuck what a piece of shit.

I hate this thing, and I can’t believe that it’s the year 2008 and we are seriously in a desert war and there exist streaming video players on major media outlets owned by ABC that do not work with even the lowest brow of world wide web browser such as Internet Explorer, which most consider the retard idiot’s baby cousin of browsers.

But god damn is it hilarious to watch a guy that went from a pornography production addiction to god. Porn groupies disguised as neo-religicons. It’s genius.

I am not even going to bother trying to embed it, so here’s a fancy old-fashioned link because no one reads this anyway.

It’s seriously pretty good. I love watching new-generation Christians squirm. They’re so soft! It’s always great to see the germination of an era of lazy psychology and insane religion combined. Ron Jeremy basically skull fucks their arguments.

Then the audience bends them over in barely-legal rough college co-ed tradition.